TKAM #4: Mrs. Dubose

It's hard. It's a hard battle. And I don't know if I'll make it. Morphine is like an angry lobster. It grabs on and doesn't let go. But to win this battle, unlike with an actual lobster, I have to take my mind off it. I don't care how, really, I'll do it any way I can. But I refuse to let myself die until I've broken free of this terrible drug. I'll do whatever I can to keep my mind off of it. Those children hate me by now I'm sure, I've said so much to them. But morphine or no, that girl needs to straighten up and wear a dress of she'll end up a failure in life like she already is. And her brother can't even hold his temper. Stupid children. And thank god for their stupidity, for they're getting me through this terrible phase, as their reading gives me something to keep my mind on, something to tell how much better I'm doing. After I'm gone, he can run around and go to jail on Atticus's watch as long as he will, but right now I need him to read to me, I depend on it. It helps my mind keep working and replace morphine-induced hallucinations with real thoughts and memories. Yes, god bless that terrible, ugly, stupid boy.

That's how I thought then, in those hours of reading I required and they so greatly detested. But that's gone. Done. And now something new begins. A light...